The Evening Love

"Its not about how we met Vikram... Its that we were destined to!"

"I know that Jenny and I can never forget anything about 'us'. You, this place and the 'me' I have become with you.."

The evening was getting darker as Jenny and Vikram walked across the park where they had first met. It was not even an year ago, when they did not even know each other. They were as good as any other strangers who came to the park everyday in the evening. Some were regulars, some were less frequent.

"And you remember, how we didn't even notice each other for so long!", said Jenny with a twinkle in her eyes.

"Not we Jenny! Only you did not..I always used to see the petite girl who came down every evening and never wore the same tee twice in a row", said Vikram with a smile that always left Jenny guessing over the meaning behind his words.

Vikram's company had relocated him to Mumbai and he was supposed to move there within a week. When his manager informed him about it this morning, the first thought that came to his mind was "Does Jenny's company operate in Mumbai? If not, how can I go?" He instantly searched her company's website but alas! it wasn't. He stared hopelessly at the monitor screen as the happy times with Jenny flashed across his mind. The fun filled evenings when they worked out together. How Jenny flaunted her perfect figure when she used to invite him for eating those aloo-tikkis and pastries. And how he used to explain to her why she should not be the big-time foodie that she was.

Even before he could sense what he was feeling, he knew he was smiling.

And when it was 8 in the evening, they met...like they met everyday and Vikram told her about his relocating plans. While he spoke, he smiled but with the pain in his eyes that Jenny refused to notice.

"Will you want a parting gift from me, too?", said Jenny with the usual chirpiness in her voice. "By the way, I deserve one, too. So, maybe we can go together and get something for each other. Or an even better idea, let's go on a food marathon and you will have to eat all that I suggest!, continued Jenny almost without breaking her breath.

Vikram stared at her silently, wondering how magical everything was about her! She was a foodie and that made her so vivacious. He knew it sounded weird, but anything for Jenny!

Today, right now, Vikram was all set to leave. His bags packed and he, ready to fly to Mumbai holding a small gift box for Jenny. He knew she would come with her extraordinary energy level and he will definitely leave light hearted. And just then, she was there!

"I haven't bought you anything! Does that make you rethink if you should give me that box you have for me or cancel it?", said Jenny with the quirkiness that always floored Vikram.

"How bad is that Jenny! Of course I am holding it back then. Maybe I can put it to some good use in mumbai", said Vikram winking.

As Vikram approached the cab, jenny handed him an envelope and said, "open it after you can't see me waving at you." "Sure Jenny madam! as you say..like always", said Vikram, smiling, as they hugged each other and Vikram handed the gift box to Jenny.

"As the cab was pulling off the road, Jenny stood waving when she realised that her phone vibrated. It was Vikram. "Hey Jenny! did u really need to write all this? Could you not say it to me, stupid? Have you unwrapped your gift box?"

" "Not yet Vikram!" and she broke down. "I never had the guts to tell you that. I feared I would lose you forever."

"Vikram smiled and said, "Open your box! And yes..I have a friend in the company where you have forwarded your resume in Mumbai. I am sure, you are landing there soon! Smart girl you are!" Meanwhile, Jenny had opened up the box and found half a ceramic heart with Vikram's name scribbled on it. The attached note said, "I have the other half. Can we put the two halves together?"

"Jenny smiled and said, "We will Vikram! We definitely will".

The Monsoon Love

"Deep! Deep!! Can you not hear me? Come on over..look! the sky is overcast with clouds. Its lovely atop here". Her voice kept getting joyous with the cool breeze rustling through her hair.

Downstairs in the living room, Deep sat with his laptop, too engrossed to acknowledge her ecstasy. He was too tired to begin his day and slipped into the couch with his head stretched on the cushion and eyes shut. He was falling asleep when Kerry walked in bringing along the enthusiasm of the breeze that played a welcome note for the monsoon. She could see how tired Deep was and decided to let him relax.

It was almost four years back, when Deep and Kerry met each other through a social networking site. They became friends, then good friends and then the best friends... as they moved out of the virtual world into the real one.

Deep, then, was a guy any girl would love to be with. He was courteous and cheerful He lived life like no one else did and was fond of seeing new places and meeting new people. Kerry, too, like him, was fond of everything life had to offer and believed in living to the fullest. There was an energy of awesomeness that surrounded both of them.

Until last year, everything was perfect. The storm of disturbance came riding on the wings of time when Deep switched his job where he was to travel very often for work. Deep, who once loved travelling was now tired of it. He often thought to himself as to what was the reason because of which his passion was creating a disgust in his life. But to no use! He never found an answer. And before he could discuss it with Kerry, he was on another trip, travelling across the world, but half heartedly. He was making big bucks but without the pleasure of doing so and he was sure, Kerry too, felt the same but was too sweet to let him know of it.

It was around nine in the morning and in the other part of the house, Kerry was busy making Deep's favorite tea in the backdrop of a musical love note which Deep always hummed for her. She picked the mug and reached the living room to find Deep asleep.

"Deep!", called out Kerry in a soft voice and he woke up realizing that he slept mistakenly. The innocent smile on Kerry's face was a treat to his eyes. As he started sipping the tea, Kerry told him about the lovely weather upstairs in the open. She forced him up and there they were... like an year back. As the cool breeze rustled past Deep's ears, and Kerry whispered those magical words, Deep's world seemed to be changing and the recent anxiety and fatigue appeared too meaningless for attention when his beautiful Kerry smiled with her arms around his neck.

"Let's go on a long drive!", said Deep.

"What? A long drive? Are you dreaming Deep? Haven't you got an office today? Go! get ready..!", reacted Kerry. And this time, tears came down Deep's eyes as he sensed how lonely Kerry has been. He wrapped his arms around her and bought her close. "I am sorry my Love! All this time, I was thinking that I was busy with work, but I was wrong! I am not tired of work. I am tired of not being close to you! I am..tired... because I haven't made my Kerry smile since long.." And Kerry couldn't believe it was happening. She jumped of joy and kissed Deep.

"Shall we not go in our pyjamas? Like we used to earlier?" said Kerry and Deep agreed.

As they drove down the countryside, and the monsoon broke, Deep felt like the cloud that was pouring down rain..his anxiety no longer survived. His heart had only one feeling..the feeling of Love for Kerry.

Thank God! We aren't the same..

There is that feeling which you can't exactly put in words. The feeling of being yourself. Being so content, so happy and high on self esteem that you would not want to change.

Ever wondered the limit of perfection or acceptability? Well, that's one point we often miss out. I, too, had been missing out on it until recently.

Its a person's aura, they say. But I would want to name it differently. I see it as a personal wall set up around a person which has loud and clear messages signed on it. Whether somebody would approach you or not when you are in their vicinity is majorly governed by our personal walls.

Etching out this wall is no big deal. Its almost automatic. But putting off the wall and becoming more approachable is one daunting task. I said daunting not because you have to battle against someone else. The most difficult battle ever is the one against ourselves. Whether it is about hitting the snooze button on alarm or it is about visiting the once-a-dear-friend.

In most of the cases, including myself, the reason behind being unapproachable is some bad experience in the past or even a mindset that we refuse to overcome. Probably, because we fail to understand that each individual is unique. Just because a guy that age once irritated me, I don't have enough reasons to ward off all guys that age or all who bear resemblance with him. Because once an aunt in the neighborhood spied on me and my boyfriend, do I stand my decision of hating all aunties in my neighborhood? Of course No!

The point here is that if I enjoy and am proud of my individual existence and its uniqueness, so are others. Who are we to expect them to merge into our likes? Had it been a mono-personality world, just think how boring things would be! For people had same tastes and likes, nobody would have even bothered to manufacture so many flavors of ice cream... Just one color and just one thought!!

This world, in my opinion, is good being one... but nothing else. Lets respect our differences and enjoy variety, for, monotonous life is no life! :)

When it hurts, its real!

She was visibly different from Lisa I met two months back.

In fact, she bore no resemblance to the Lisa I had known for almost 10 years. We grew up together through our teens and had extreme tolerance for each other's stupidities. We shared everything at length, and probably, this kept us together through distances.

It was three years back on Valentines Day that Rajat proposed her and she said Yes. This had to happen and all three of us knew it.They both were by all means and measures, made for each other. Lisa would throw tantrums at petty matters and Rajat could handle all of it without losing the smile on his face. He was sure about his parents' confidence in his decisions and therefore, was waiting for the right time to introduce his perfect girl to his parents. Lisa came from a more liberal background and therefore, things were easier on her side.

It was 6 pm on a Friday when Rajat called up and said that he was leaving for his home town. Lisa did not inquire much realizing that he was in a hurry. At around 7:30 pm, she received a text that read "Love! my parents need me. They are in a tough time. I know you are a strong girl and can take care of yourself. I don't know when will I be coming back. For the sake of our love, be happy all these days that I am not with you..." On reading this, she sensed something unusual but ignored it thinking it was just her sense of insecurity without Rajat.

They exchanged messages and talked briefly over phone. Every time they talked, Rajat was unable to tell her the date of his return journey. Passing days changed to months and Lisa lived with the hope of Rajat's return. On every first of the month, she prayed that the month be proven lucky and Rajat returns. During all these days, he told her about how his dad's business had run into a legal hassle and he had no other option than being there.

She cried over the weekends like crazy. She fought her own insecurities and tried hard to socialize but all in vain. No matter what she did or whom she met, there was only one thing that consumed all her energy.."What if Rajat doesn't come back?", and this was the end of her world, her happiness.

When I am with her today, I can feel the sadness in her eyes. She has changed, both ways. She appeared more responsible and threw no tantrums. She is not even complaining about the high temperature. I could see Lisa checking on the time on her cellphone almost every 15 minutes. On realizing that she has been noticed, she said, "Rajat calls at 1 pm everyday" and the typical Lisa smile flashed across her face and I loved it! I hugged her tight and she broke down. Probably, she had held back her tears too hard and today, they were just flowing. I sat close to her silently. I know, its good to let the feelings flow. Amid all this, her phone rang and she hurriedly picked it. It was Rajat.

She strained hard to make out what he was saying but alas! she could not. Rajat was at some very noisy place and this made her tensed. All she could make out was that he was asking her to be happy and the call was disconnected. Her worried eyes told a tale that I would never want to accept, and neither Lisa.

A text message beeped on Lisa's phone. It read "i am on the railway station, Love! Have managed to get a ticket. We are meeting tomorrow! Want my Lisa smile :)"

She sat numb. Tears came down her eyes hurriedly and we hugged again. "May is lucky", we screamed together and quickly moved out of the place we were sitting at.

Someone has truly said, "Love heals!"

What's in a Goodbye..?

I have been thinking over it for quite a while..what is there in a Goodbye that leaves us teary eyed!

All of us say so many goodbyes in a given span of time But all of them are just not the same. There is a kind of Goodbye that tears you from within. It shakes you, breaks you and just doesn't let you be. Probably, this is a rare type. It happens when a deeply loved one is parting from you, and that too possible either for the first time or the ultimate last time. There is a glut in the throat that doesn't let you speak. It leaves you uneasy for quite sometime and when you think of it, it seems to be real time. Amazing it is, to see how strangely we respond to the same event at different points of time.

There is a teary yet fun goodbye too! I remember the goodbye I said to the school friends for the first time and then a Goodbye at the end of College. These were fun because we all had plans to look forward to. We knew we would keep in touch and had those slam books filled. It appeared to be almost a treasure then. Infact it is! Ever flipped through the pages of those yesteryear's slam books recently? Do that this weekend..and you will know what exactly creating a treasure for life means!

I did that a fortnight ago and am still smiling :) No matter how good we look at one point of time, we outgrow ourselves and years later, those pictures throw us into fits of laughter. The lovely messages, those confessions about our crushes and "what I like about you" are the super entertaining parts of slams. Rethinking about your crush and luckily, if one still has him/ her in life is such an amazing feeling. It sends you back to those days and you definitely return younger!

Saying a goodbye, irrespective of its type is never easy. When we part, we leave behind a space in other's lives which remains a void, if not forever, for sometime surely.

Probably, that is the reason why hugs are so important before we part. Its one last feeling of closeness till we meet again. Its an assurance that both of us would be fine without each other and therefore...a Good Bye!

Just One life!

Its true and all of us know it. But we love to turn our backs to this fact. How, is what you think? Aah! think of the last time you were unreasonably complaining with your domestic help. Ever considered the validity of the image you have created for the fellow passenger? ..and my inner self said a big NO! Why? I ask myself and I can't figure out anything concrete. It isn't just me or you! Its the devil side of all of us. Why should I care, is the attitude within when I need care is a demand from within. What irony is our life into! Labeling is probably the easiest stuff we end up doing every day. There are a few posts on Facebook regarding this doing good rounds. We like, we share. Now, do we need Facebook to develop an implement option too, so that we would start implementing it in our lives? The virtual friends and online socializing has actually ruined me of real life or offline living skills. What really brings happiness is happiness itself just changing hands and thereby multiplying. A gentle Hello from somebody I am not really friends with is likely to throw me into logic behind it. Well, that logic is simple too. It has to be a first time sometime. Its our generosity, probably, that needs nurturing. We all have only one life. But we spend more of our time and energy into creating tangles. These tangles go with us places, getting severe. And when one fine day we think of them, they appear impossible. As far as my experience goes, openness to new experiences really helps. Why should I mind talking to that fellow who has never troubled me? Why shouldn't I take an initiative and say Hello to that girl who is always quiet? Why should I label her as a snob even before the first interaction? I hold no rights to it. I am into simplifying my life. Why don't you too do something with yours? All the best! Start loving yourself in the surrounding you are.

That Special day

That day was nothing special. Actually, nothing that excites me had happened till 8:30 am. I had had a regular breakfast and was not wearing a new dress to office either. The Metro coach i boarded was crowded as usual and people were busy with their cell phones as usual, too.

As a regular practice, I was scanning through the newspaper when a message beeped on my phone.

"We need to talk..

Love

Aliya"

..and neither my heart nor my mind had any reason to believe what I had just read. So i re- read but I again read the same. Aliya wanted to talk to me. About what? Is it something about Alex? Or is it something about both of them? I would never want to call her up but I wanted to know every detail behind that message. The subconscious mind prayed for respite from anything that was unfortunate and the conscious me wore the pseudo-good morning-face that was challenging.

Like everyday, I reached office and settled down at work but not to deny that message had left me guessing! I curiously checked my inbox hoping to see a long letter of confession from Aliya but in vain.

"One has to be a brave heart to make confessions." I said to myself. "What Aliya did was mean and an insecure behavior.."

Just then my phone rang and I knew it before even seeing who it was. Aliya calling.. and my hands froze. Not that I was afraid. Neither did I owe an explanation about anything.. and I took the call.

"Hello.. hello.. This is Aliya. "

I wanted to speak up. I wanted to reply to her hello that was sweeter than the Good bye we last exchanged. Clearing my throat of the thoughts that were clouded over my mind, I said, Hello Aliya!

"Hey..I sent you a text this morning.. seen that?"

"Oh yes!" Thought I would call you sometime in the evening. But we can talk now.

By this time, I had put my mind sufficiently distant from its intelligence and was determined to lend her a patient ear. I knew that I could be wrong and she would be swaying me away with her sugary words of concern. But, somehow, I wanted to give in and I did.

"Alex... wants to talk", she said.

Alex and I were the best of friends since High School. We continued to be so for many years despite of being quite different, if not poles apart. The reason was obvious. We both had never dated anyone or better say, had no interest in doing so. Our weekends were spent in the backyard of our houses busy gardening and fighting over silly things. All this continued unless Aliya joined us in college.

"Hiii Alex!" I said in an ecstatic voice.

"Where are you girl? Do you have any idea you used to have a friend named Alex? Is he alive or dead?"

"My friend is a devil! He won't die. He kills!" and both of us burst into a laughter. Realizing that my laughter was a girly giggle and the fact that everyone around me was busy at work, I quietly slipped into the Lounge Area.

"What a day it is today Alex! Hearing from you after so long. How have you been and what are you upto?"

Aliya and I became friends at college and used to do all girl-like-mischief together. Except one for which I never complained of my absence but it left me feeling betrayed and miserable.

" Hey.. do you remember what I always wanted to do?", said Alex.

"Animation movies".. I remember. And after a pause, I realized what was happening. "Oh my God Alex!" Do you mean to say that you have already done an animation movie and the day has come!", I said gasping for breath.

"Yes! and I am inviting you to the special premiere. You have to be there. You are my special guest. Save your date and check your inbox for the tickets, too".

Aliya started showing interest in Alex during the second year of college. They went around together but I could never see the love brewing. The reason was that the Alex I knew could never keep secrets from me. I joined them less for outings on weekends or say I was called upon lesser. With the Graduation year approaching, I was more into texts than being with them.

And, finally came the farewell evening. As a trend, best friends or love birds used to walk into the reception area together and get themselves clicked exclusively. I was there, waiting for Alex and Aliya to join me as best friends when they walked past me arms in arms.

"Sure Alex! I know that its going to be the biggest day of your life and I would not want to miss celebrating another memorable day with my best friend".

"Another? What's that girl? I didn't get you! What did we miss earlier?", said Alex with concern and confusion.

"Maybe I should not say that, Alex. But I want to! I still remember the Farewell Party at college. I was lonely without you but you never cared. Trust me, I would never want to reciprocate that to you. Not because you are my friend. Because I know how much it hurts." My voice was breaking down and I could feel the same pain after three long years.

"Stop there, lady! You have no idea how much me and Aliya have regretted over it ever since we realized how blind we had become to everyone around." We were waiting for the right time to talk to you", said Alex.

"And we know you will forgive us easily today. I know when my friend is happy, she is!", and we both laughed our hearts out.

By this time I was totally delighted. I was excited that I had both my friends back into my life, with me, and the bygones appeared just too worthless for any corner of heart.

As I allowed the excitement to settle, I realized that they knew nothing about my recent life. Dramatic, as I always was, popped the question: "How many tickets for me , Alex"?

"Ummm.. Its one ticket per passenger I guess unless you are overweight", prompt came the Alex-ian reply. "Do you now need two these days?", said he in a pretending voice.

"Yes! I do need two tickets. But I am not overweight! I want Rehman to break your nose for me". I replied and waited for his response.

"Who? Reh...Rehman? Are you serious? Are you guys together? I mean..I am so delighted to know this!", exclaimed Alex. Now it was both Aliya and him screaming into my ears.

As I turned back, the clock read half past eleven and the work I had left back left me terrified. "You guys are still monsters! Am in the office. Let me go and work now! Let's catch up in the evening", and I hung up the phone.

As I hurried down to my desk, I could feel the spring in my steps and the twinkle in my eyes that I could not hide. Suddenly, the day had become so special.

I dropped an SMS to Rehman that read, "We are flying to Mumbai this weekend. Let's catch up at lunch."