Fair, Slim & Beautiful

Thank God! My fair skinned mom married my fair skinned dad and i was born fair in skin. Alright, One criteria matched.

Time for second one. I am not sure if I am slim, but yes! I fit into the smallest size of clothes available in market and I am fit & healthy. So, am I slim? Well, not sure! Because then I have chubby cheeks and a round face which doesn't let me look slim in my photographs. So, that remains open ended.

Next and the third criteria of being beautiful. Aah! None of my subjects that I studied till my MBA taught me the meaning of Beautiful. The best thing I ever read about beauty was that it lied in the eyes of the beholder. Beholders!!

Ever since I remember, I thought flowers were beautiful. Butterflies were beautiful. My mom was beautiful. Although i did not have a reason to call them beautiful except that they made me happy and bought me smiles. But then my thought process suffered a set back as I grew up. No! I did not stop thinking the way I did but because I came across too many people with whom my thoughts could not find a pace.

There were friends getting married and before that, there were those hunts for a suitable partner. The most dicey word was "suitable". No! not because I had my own definition for it but because the parameters of suitability were sometimes weird and most of the time hilarious!Irrespective of what the guy was all like, be it his personality or choice or whatever you can think of, he wanted a Fair, Slim and Beautiful bride... and what for? The prompt reply from his family would be "He will have fair kids"..again..what for? So that the kid would grow up to be beautiful and attractive and find a suitable partner.

I wanted to show them that I would be the same person whether i grew fatter or darker. I can't be suitable for you unless we are on the same Frequency. And there was the catch! "Frequency" is an alien word for our society that is supposed to be an aftermath of westernization. Hell No! Who spread this rumor? Have no idea about whom to hang till death for this.

The craziest of things happen when you get to see the guy's photograph or meet him in person. Most chances are that if he emphasized on having an all-criteria-matching type of wife, he will turn out to be someone who doesn't meet any of those criteria himself... But that's okay! When you interact a little more, you get to know that according to his official DoB (which is not original), he happens to be younger to you and therefore, chooses to marry an officially younger wife! I cannot help myself from calling him a fake. Is he really not?

I want to reach out to such people and tell them to first decide what does a spouse mean to them? Whether they need a partner for life or an arm candy?

For me,Honesty in a relationship is the fairest thing to do, Slimmer the misunderstandings, the better and Love is the most Beautiful...and I choose to fall in Love and be someone's "perfect match for Life" and beautiful forever!

There is, of course, someone who can see beyond my physical appearance and fall in Love with the Heart I have for him...

Good Luck to all of You for finding your "Perfect Matches"! Stay Blessed :)

Amma's Wisdom

"Amma!!Can I take all of these? My friends will be waiting for it when I join back at school", said little Akshara with a twinkle in her eyes.

"Not only these, I'll give you even more laddoos. You take along for all your friends and neighbors as well. Akshara's Amma isn't an old lady yet!", said Amma cajoling her grand daughter with affection. "The only condition is that you will not tell your father that all the boxes have laddoos in them. He gets cranky about the weight of luggage. I don't understand Bitiya... what problem does this aeroplane have with my laddoos! And you can always give away a laddoo or two to the Pilot Babu and he will take care. Here in the village and even when I go to the city, all babus do my work for these laddoos...", said Amma thoughtfully.

At the age of 73, she is still an epitome of energy and positive attitude. Although she has hardly seen life outside her small village but she speaks of wisdom that her co-villagers fail to understand. Some ten years back, when Raghav, Akshara's father, announced that he wanted to marry Manjari, a girl of her choice who belonged to a different caste, Amma agreed despite of her society calling it the end of her relationship with them. She stood strong to support her son's happiness and Raghav and Manjari never let her down.

With time, Amma's society was proved wrong when twice an year, Raghav and his wife visited her in the village and even took her along in an aeroplane. Amma remembers how she was treated with garlands when she came back on an aeroplane. For months, the story of aeroplane was the hottest topic anybody could think of in the village.

"Ammaji! you are now a celebrity in the village. After all, you have flown in an aeroplane. This time when some netaji visits our place, you should welcome them. They too should know the standard of our village", said the Panchayat Mukhiya twisting his moustaches with pride while nodding his head expecting appreciation from onlookers.

Amma knew the Mukhiya was not a man of his principles. He was an absolutely sugar coated guy who could change his stand in fraction of seconds. Although Amma believed in letting things go but Mukhiya did not happen to be in the list and Amma said sarcastically,"Which standards are you talking about Mukhiyaji? You still announce punishment for the children who decide to marry someone of their own choice. Had Raghav not been so educated and in a powerful position with the Government of our country, you would have not spared me, either". Mukhiya was surprised with Amma's words but did not know how to react. "Amm...ammmaa jee! What are you saying? I am here to look after your welfare", said Mukhiya with his cunning smile that spoke volume about his personality.

"Let it be Mukhiyaji... everybody knows who announced the boycott of Shanti's family after she married a lower caste boy from city. I know, nobody speaks about these things in public. It isn't that they don't care, but they are afraid of you and your power. I am not! Look at my grand daughter. There are so many girls like her who are born in our village but are thrown away or killed even before they are born by your doctors in the Primary Health Centre", as Amma went on, the villagers had already gathered around both of them and stood listening to all that was never talked about in their village. As they stood together, they felt a sense of togetherness for a cause. A cause that was their very own. A cause in which they believed and always wanted to stand up for it.

As the noon descended and the evening took over, petromax lights lightened up all the houses. As Amma moved inside her house, she felt a sense of pride within. She hugged Akshara tight and felt the joy of standing up for what she believed in.

Just then, some neighbors came over to her place. "Ammaji! you are the real hero for us. Had you not been, nobody had the courage to speak up on Mukhiya's face. We have had enough and it's time we also get along with the progressive world. Unless we decide to progress and create better future for ourselves and our children, no one else can help.. we are with you Ammaji..please guide us!", and Amma stood up in tears. Today, she felt like she was responsible for carving the future of hundreds of Raghavs... and she surely would!

The Evening Love

"Its not about how we met Vikram... Its that we were destined to!"

"I know that Jenny and I can never forget anything about 'us'. You, this place and the 'me' I have become with you.."

The evening was getting darker as Jenny and Vikram walked across the park where they had first met. It was not even an year ago, when they did not even know each other. They were as good as any other strangers who came to the park everyday in the evening. Some were regulars, some were less frequent.

"And you remember, how we didn't even notice each other for so long!", said Jenny with a twinkle in her eyes.

"Not we Jenny! Only you did not..I always used to see the petite girl who came down every evening and never wore the same tee twice in a row", said Vikram with a smile that always left Jenny guessing over the meaning behind his words.

Vikram's company had relocated him to Mumbai and he was supposed to move there within a week. When his manager informed him about it this morning, the first thought that came to his mind was "Does Jenny's company operate in Mumbai? If not, how can I go?" He instantly searched her company's website but alas! it wasn't. He stared hopelessly at the monitor screen as the happy times with Jenny flashed across his mind. The fun filled evenings when they worked out together. How Jenny flaunted her perfect figure when she used to invite him for eating those aloo-tikkis and pastries. And how he used to explain to her why she should not be the big-time foodie that she was.

Even before he could sense what he was feeling, he knew he was smiling.

And when it was 8 in the evening, they met...like they met everyday and Vikram told her about his relocating plans. While he spoke, he smiled but with the pain in his eyes that Jenny refused to notice.

"Will you want a parting gift from me, too?", said Jenny with the usual chirpiness in her voice. "By the way, I deserve one, too. So, maybe we can go together and get something for each other. Or an even better idea, let's go on a food marathon and you will have to eat all that I suggest!, continued Jenny almost without breaking her breath.

Vikram stared at her silently, wondering how magical everything was about her! She was a foodie and that made her so vivacious. He knew it sounded weird, but anything for Jenny!

Today, right now, Vikram was all set to leave. His bags packed and he, ready to fly to Mumbai holding a small gift box for Jenny. He knew she would come with her extraordinary energy level and he will definitely leave light hearted. And just then, she was there!

"I haven't bought you anything! Does that make you rethink if you should give me that box you have for me or cancel it?", said Jenny with the quirkiness that always floored Vikram.

"How bad is that Jenny! Of course I am holding it back then. Maybe I can put it to some good use in mumbai", said Vikram winking.

As Vikram approached the cab, jenny handed him an envelope and said, "open it after you can't see me waving at you." "Sure Jenny madam! as you say..like always", said Vikram, smiling, as they hugged each other and Vikram handed the gift box to Jenny.

"As the cab was pulling off the road, Jenny stood waving when she realised that her phone vibrated. It was Vikram. "Hey Jenny! did u really need to write all this? Could you not say it to me, stupid? Have you unwrapped your gift box?"

" "Not yet Vikram!" and she broke down. "I never had the guts to tell you that. I feared I would lose you forever."

"Vikram smiled and said, "Open your box! And yes..I have a friend in the company where you have forwarded your resume in Mumbai. I am sure, you are landing there soon! Smart girl you are!" Meanwhile, Jenny had opened up the box and found half a ceramic heart with Vikram's name scribbled on it. The attached note said, "I have the other half. Can we put the two halves together?"

"Jenny smiled and said, "We will Vikram! We definitely will".

The Monsoon Love

"Deep! Deep!! Can you not hear me? Come on over..look! the sky is overcast with clouds. Its lovely atop here". Her voice kept getting joyous with the cool breeze rustling through her hair.

Downstairs in the living room, Deep sat with his laptop, too engrossed to acknowledge her ecstasy. He was too tired to begin his day and slipped into the couch with his head stretched on the cushion and eyes shut. He was falling asleep when Kerry walked in bringing along the enthusiasm of the breeze that played a welcome note for the monsoon. She could see how tired Deep was and decided to let him relax.

It was almost four years back, when Deep and Kerry met each other through a social networking site. They became friends, then good friends and then the best friends... as they moved out of the virtual world into the real one.

Deep, then, was a guy any girl would love to be with. He was courteous and cheerful He lived life like no one else did and was fond of seeing new places and meeting new people. Kerry, too, like him, was fond of everything life had to offer and believed in living to the fullest. There was an energy of awesomeness that surrounded both of them.

Until last year, everything was perfect. The storm of disturbance came riding on the wings of time when Deep switched his job where he was to travel very often for work. Deep, who once loved travelling was now tired of it. He often thought to himself as to what was the reason because of which his passion was creating a disgust in his life. But to no use! He never found an answer. And before he could discuss it with Kerry, he was on another trip, travelling across the world, but half heartedly. He was making big bucks but without the pleasure of doing so and he was sure, Kerry too, felt the same but was too sweet to let him know of it.

It was around nine in the morning and in the other part of the house, Kerry was busy making Deep's favorite tea in the backdrop of a musical love note which Deep always hummed for her. She picked the mug and reached the living room to find Deep asleep.

"Deep!", called out Kerry in a soft voice and he woke up realizing that he slept mistakenly. The innocent smile on Kerry's face was a treat to his eyes. As he started sipping the tea, Kerry told him about the lovely weather upstairs in the open. She forced him up and there they were... like an year back. As the cool breeze rustled past Deep's ears, and Kerry whispered those magical words, Deep's world seemed to be changing and the recent anxiety and fatigue appeared too meaningless for attention when his beautiful Kerry smiled with her arms around his neck.

"Let's go on a long drive!", said Deep.

"What? A long drive? Are you dreaming Deep? Haven't you got an office today? Go! get ready..!", reacted Kerry. And this time, tears came down Deep's eyes as he sensed how lonely Kerry has been. He wrapped his arms around her and bought her close. "I am sorry my Love! All this time, I was thinking that I was busy with work, but I was wrong! I am not tired of work. I am tired of not being close to you! I am..tired... because I haven't made my Kerry smile since long.." And Kerry couldn't believe it was happening. She jumped of joy and kissed Deep.

"Shall we not go in our pyjamas? Like we used to earlier?" said Kerry and Deep agreed.

As they drove down the countryside, and the monsoon broke, Deep felt like the cloud that was pouring down rain..his anxiety no longer survived. His heart had only one feeling..the feeling of Love for Kerry.

Thank God! We aren't the same..

There is that feeling which you can't exactly put in words. The feeling of being yourself. Being so content, so happy and high on self esteem that you would not want to change.

Ever wondered the limit of perfection or acceptability? Well, that's one point we often miss out. I, too, had been missing out on it until recently.

Its a person's aura, they say. But I would want to name it differently. I see it as a personal wall set up around a person which has loud and clear messages signed on it. Whether somebody would approach you or not when you are in their vicinity is majorly governed by our personal walls.

Etching out this wall is no big deal. Its almost automatic. But putting off the wall and becoming more approachable is one daunting task. I said daunting not because you have to battle against someone else. The most difficult battle ever is the one against ourselves. Whether it is about hitting the snooze button on alarm or it is about visiting the once-a-dear-friend.

In most of the cases, including myself, the reason behind being unapproachable is some bad experience in the past or even a mindset that we refuse to overcome. Probably, because we fail to understand that each individual is unique. Just because a guy that age once irritated me, I don't have enough reasons to ward off all guys that age or all who bear resemblance with him. Because once an aunt in the neighborhood spied on me and my boyfriend, do I stand my decision of hating all aunties in my neighborhood? Of course No!

The point here is that if I enjoy and am proud of my individual existence and its uniqueness, so are others. Who are we to expect them to merge into our likes? Had it been a mono-personality world, just think how boring things would be! For people had same tastes and likes, nobody would have even bothered to manufacture so many flavors of ice cream... Just one color and just one thought!!

This world, in my opinion, is good being one... but nothing else. Lets respect our differences and enjoy variety, for, monotonous life is no life! :)

When it hurts, its real!

She was visibly different from Lisa I met two months back.

In fact, she bore no resemblance to the Lisa I had known for almost 10 years. We grew up together through our teens and had extreme tolerance for each other's stupidities. We shared everything at length, and probably, this kept us together through distances.

It was three years back on Valentines Day that Rajat proposed her and she said Yes. This had to happen and all three of us knew it.They both were by all means and measures, made for each other. Lisa would throw tantrums at petty matters and Rajat could handle all of it without losing the smile on his face. He was sure about his parents' confidence in his decisions and therefore, was waiting for the right time to introduce his perfect girl to his parents. Lisa came from a more liberal background and therefore, things were easier on her side.

It was 6 pm on a Friday when Rajat called up and said that he was leaving for his home town. Lisa did not inquire much realizing that he was in a hurry. At around 7:30 pm, she received a text that read "Love! my parents need me. They are in a tough time. I know you are a strong girl and can take care of yourself. I don't know when will I be coming back. For the sake of our love, be happy all these days that I am not with you..." On reading this, she sensed something unusual but ignored it thinking it was just her sense of insecurity without Rajat.

They exchanged messages and talked briefly over phone. Every time they talked, Rajat was unable to tell her the date of his return journey. Passing days changed to months and Lisa lived with the hope of Rajat's return. On every first of the month, she prayed that the month be proven lucky and Rajat returns. During all these days, he told her about how his dad's business had run into a legal hassle and he had no other option than being there.

She cried over the weekends like crazy. She fought her own insecurities and tried hard to socialize but all in vain. No matter what she did or whom she met, there was only one thing that consumed all her energy.."What if Rajat doesn't come back?", and this was the end of her world, her happiness.

When I am with her today, I can feel the sadness in her eyes. She has changed, both ways. She appeared more responsible and threw no tantrums. She is not even complaining about the high temperature. I could see Lisa checking on the time on her cellphone almost every 15 minutes. On realizing that she has been noticed, she said, "Rajat calls at 1 pm everyday" and the typical Lisa smile flashed across her face and I loved it! I hugged her tight and she broke down. Probably, she had held back her tears too hard and today, they were just flowing. I sat close to her silently. I know, its good to let the feelings flow. Amid all this, her phone rang and she hurriedly picked it. It was Rajat.

She strained hard to make out what he was saying but alas! she could not. Rajat was at some very noisy place and this made her tensed. All she could make out was that he was asking her to be happy and the call was disconnected. Her worried eyes told a tale that I would never want to accept, and neither Lisa.

A text message beeped on Lisa's phone. It read "i am on the railway station, Love! Have managed to get a ticket. We are meeting tomorrow! Want my Lisa smile :)"

She sat numb. Tears came down her eyes hurriedly and we hugged again. "May is lucky", we screamed together and quickly moved out of the place we were sitting at.

Someone has truly said, "Love heals!"

What's in a Goodbye..?

I have been thinking over it for quite a while..what is there in a Goodbye that leaves us teary eyed!

All of us say so many goodbyes in a given span of time But all of them are just not the same. There is a kind of Goodbye that tears you from within. It shakes you, breaks you and just doesn't let you be. Probably, this is a rare type. It happens when a deeply loved one is parting from you, and that too possible either for the first time or the ultimate last time. There is a glut in the throat that doesn't let you speak. It leaves you uneasy for quite sometime and when you think of it, it seems to be real time. Amazing it is, to see how strangely we respond to the same event at different points of time.

There is a teary yet fun goodbye too! I remember the goodbye I said to the school friends for the first time and then a Goodbye at the end of College. These were fun because we all had plans to look forward to. We knew we would keep in touch and had those slam books filled. It appeared to be almost a treasure then. Infact it is! Ever flipped through the pages of those yesteryear's slam books recently? Do that this weekend..and you will know what exactly creating a treasure for life means!

I did that a fortnight ago and am still smiling :) No matter how good we look at one point of time, we outgrow ourselves and years later, those pictures throw us into fits of laughter. The lovely messages, those confessions about our crushes and "what I like about you" are the super entertaining parts of slams. Rethinking about your crush and luckily, if one still has him/ her in life is such an amazing feeling. It sends you back to those days and you definitely return younger!

Saying a goodbye, irrespective of its type is never easy. When we part, we leave behind a space in other's lives which remains a void, if not forever, for sometime surely.

Probably, that is the reason why hugs are so important before we part. Its one last feeling of closeness till we meet again. Its an assurance that both of us would be fine without each other and therefore...a Good Bye!