I have dreams

Do you have a dream? I have...and that too, many!

I have heard people say that Dreams don't come true in real life and they are best for the closed eyes. But the point is that if you aren't dreaming about anything, what are you aiming at? Where are you headed to? An unknown, unseen goal? Alright, you may favour mystery but how do you ensure that your unknown and unseen goal is worth the efforts you are unknowingly putting into it?

I dream. I dream about everything. I have a life in my dreams. True that it is not what I am living now but I am working towards it.I have my dream and I have a real life present situation in hand, too. When I feel like I have had enough of hardships, I slip away to my life in dreams. You might say that its brave to fight back hardships and emerge a winner. I differ. I would prefer to be happy in my life of dreams and think of another step to move closer to it than wasting my energy fighting the hardships. Well, maybe if I decide to fight, I win. And you call me a winner. But you would call me a winner on the basis of end result that I have overcome the hardship. I do so by keeping myself happy, in a different way. All the bitterness of fighting back would rest within me, not the world.

That is why I decide to win with all my happiness intact within me. I would prefer leaving the entropy of situations find an equilibrium for themselves. Instead of fighting back the situation, I would distance myself from them. You may not consider that brave enough but trust me! you need to be brave to distance yourself from situations that bother you, the situations that are out of your control and the situations that arose despite of the fact that you took all the care in this world to make a good and reasonable decision.

Its good to win. But its more important to be happy. Not all strong people are happy but all happy people are strong!

Stay happy! :)

My Friend's Story

This is my friend's story. My first attempt at wording someone else's. Hope I have done justice.

I was still there. Sitting in the cafeteria where we just bid her a farewell. I was still on the same chair. The same chair she sat next to this evening.

Last year, she joined the company where I had been working for past four years. I interviewed her during the recruitment process. She was a scared, confused and a restless soul. She was anxious about so many things. An introvert, a small town girl who had just opened up to the big and fast world. But she was yet to open up.

Since the day she joined us, I wanted to support her. Somewhere within my impartial heart, a tendency to be partial kept growing stronger and the mortal me gave in.

It started with little favors at work. A little extension in deadlines. A little relaxation in reporting time. My restlessness kept growing.

She did not have the looks to die for. She was not even witty enough to outsmart me but she was a breath of fresh air. Just being there for her felt like everything for me. Her happiness. Her worries. Her wishes. I was suddenly everything about her. I no longer existed within me.

It was then, a few months back, that my company was not doing well and the entry level employees could be the first ones to fall victim to the cost cutting plan. Her job meant a lot to her and I knew it.

I am sad today and I know that, too. But back then, I never knew I would be so hurt when she leaves. I helped her with the interviews, the negotiations and what not. No. Not because I was seeking something in return. Even if I was, it was only my happiness that had secretly found its place in hers.

And now I am here. On the same chair, lonely and restless. There is that longing to be with her again. Maybe on an evening road, maybe near a country pond or maybe just here...she returns with the pain of longing, too.

And together we shall be. Maybe. If fairy tales were to be true, we could be together, too!

Listen to me, baby!

So Jiah Khan's suicide note is out and like many of us, I read it too. Probably unlike many of us, I felt bothered and moved and definitely compelled to spare it a thought.

"I gave you everything...I was working for us but you never valued." I have heard this so many times (No! I wasn't Jiah's friend). I have heard it time and again from my friends who are in a relationship, forget happy or unhappy. What I am sure of is, not everybody pays attention to this complaint from their partner. We often assume that as the relationship grows or matures, there has to be lesser space for sweet nothings or there has to be more of a dry behavior.

We assume, we believe and therefore, we act. Independent of the gender, this complaint is never well received. What bothers me, is 'why'? Because we think its cool to be careless about someone who cares for us? Or, it is supposedly uncool to reveal our exact feelings, unaltered. A relationship is better warm than cold (read cool)...isn't it? There are hoards of articles online that say why your spouse should not be your BFF. Nobody talks about why the person you call your better half should be entitled to know the whole of your heart. I don't advocate the idea of 'i'll stick to your back, baby' but darlings and sweethearts may be let into the restricted space as well. A BFF is a blessing, undoubtedly but did you just accept your partner as a curse? It needs a grey matter provocation over a heart and tears combo of temporary emotions that arise and end in the middle of nowhere.

There are ups and downs in every relationship and I more than agree to it. Not that because I am a female, I tend to overlook the male's point of view and therefore, I totally agree to the fact that gender has nothing to do with emotional exhaustion. It feels disgusted to be cheated and that is it! Neither a guy nor a girl feels happy about it but even then, women are perceived as dramatic and overtly emotional. Its alright to shed a tear at anything or just everything than drive someone to an insane decision of suicide. You agree?

Its alright to scream at the top of your voice at someone you consider close than let your silence kill them. (this one is for you, guys!)

Having nurtured a relationship, a pretty long and happy one (touch wood! yes!! I am protective about it), the only thing that has kept us going is the willingness and ability to sit face to face and talk about just anything that's bothering any one of us.

Talk! Talk! and then Walk your Talk!

A Letter to the Ageing Love

Dear Love,

You are amazing. You make everything just-so-perfect! You add sparkle to an otherwise dull day. By all means and measures, you are outstanding and desirable.

The only drawback that you could have avoided was ageing. Yeah! am talking about the grey-ing phenomenon that you probably picked from all mortals. But you are supposed to be immortal, aren't you? Well, that is what they say!

You captivated my heart a few years back. I welcomed you in high spirits and made every attempt to keep you there.

Though you had your own share of tantrums and threw my mind out of its place, I always favored you. In fact, you gave me sleepless nights and mindless days, and I adored you for it! I had hopes that you will start behaving yourself some day and thankfully you did.

Once you settled down, I was high on hopes that you will continue to be that way in the times to come. But oh! how wrong I was. You had found a completely new set of annoying traits. You became erratic and irritating at times. Don't you think the possessiveness was little too annoying? And yes! what was with that 'no friends around- only you' syndrome of yours? Truly its said, you are immature!

And hold on! Your even worse phase is not discussed yet. After all these hardships you had to offer, you decided to get old and sober! Why that? Your grey-ing kills me more than my own ever would. You have lost that spark, you lack the enrgy, you don't have that happy vibe around you any longer... why? No more long meaningless phone calls and chats and there is no more of those sweet-nothings. Why?

I am sad about the way you are turning out to be. At times, I wonder how you will be through the years to come? Are you planning to get depressingly nagging and demanding? As it is, you don't focus on providing anymore.

Please understand and don't let me down! Mend your ways and get better. I want you to be the way you were. I want all your sweetness back into you...anyhow and in anyway!!

Think over it Love. I so desire to have you around!

A Stranger then, a Friend now

Across the road that led to my house was the office where he worked. I crossed him twice a day but we had never met.

Although we had chatted over internet for almost an year now, though with breaks of months but whenever we got back in touch, there was something that neither of us could ignore.

That day was like any of my regular days. At 6 pm, I left my office. And then on, everything was happening like it was scripted well in advance. While I sat in the cab with my earphones plugged in, a chat beeped.

"Hey girl! whats happening?"

"Hey! am awesome as ever :D heading home. Whats up with you?"

And there was no reply. Nothing unusual. People often tend to ping friends on chat for a hello and then get busy with work and forget about the popped up chat window. So, I got back to my music.

After some 30 minutes, the chat beeped again. It was him again.

"I know you are awesome!;)"

A couple of minutes later, "Can we catch up today? How long will you take to reach your stop?"

I have always had this feeling of not meeting up with strangers very soon, Although an year isn't too soon but I just did not have that 'Let's catch-up' feeling and I replied,"Had a hectic day at work & am dead! Dying to relax.."

"No issues :) Am always available...lemme know when you want to"

"Sure! Take care :) " and I ended the chat. I had reached my stop by now and as a habit, was holding my bottle of pepper spray in one hand.

I had an idea! I was not really tired and definitely not dead as I had told him on chat. I usually think and rethink before doing something, probably a not-so-side-effect of being a Strategic Planner.

I called him up.

"Hey Vikram! busy?"

"Not at all! What's up?"

"Am right here outside your office. You mind coming?"

"Whhhaattt??" was all he said and then coming back to our conversation, he continued "Just be there and am rushing through."

I couldn't help smiling with my eyes stuck to the exit of their building. Since the building housed many corporates,people kept coming out every moment.

"I shouldn't keep looking at the gate like that", and i moved a little away.

While I was walking up and down that small area, I saw a guy in blue shirt walking hurriedly through the exit.

"Vikram! right?"

"Yehh Girl! You are exactly the same like your profile picture, except that it doesn't talk! And is that pepper spray for me? Goodness! I won't harm you."

"Oh! Not really for you but you never know!" and we laughed away.

"Come on! let's go and sit somewhere. You want to eat something, right?"

"How do you know?"

"Whenever I ping you around this time, you always say you are busy with food. Little Foodie! Let's go munching".

The cafe where we sat was a nice and happening place beeming with people catching over coffee and discussing work. "So... why this sudden plan? "

"Just like that! When I got down at my stop, I felt like I wasn't that dead", I said jokingly.

"That's like an awesome girl! By the way, If you don't mind, I would like to introduce you to few people. You won't mind, will you?"

"Well, I really don't!But I wonder who those people are?"

"No terrorists and no police. So be the chilled out girl you are! I will just call them up. Although they know you are here", while getting busy with his phone.

I was amused and confused but meeting up some new people was equally exciting.

After he was done with the call, he turned back to me and said "Does it feel like we are seeing each other for the first time?"

"Not to me! You neither look nor sound like a stranger"

"Happy Friendship Day!!" There was such a loud cheer that our conversation came to a grinding halt. And there were those three guys and two girls standing right around our table. I looked at him with those questioning eyes as if wanting him to clarify that they were on the wrong table. Seeing me so puzzled, they prompted Vikram to speak up.

"Relax! we have completed an year of friendship today without blocking each other even once! And that's remarkable!" said Vikram and I happily agreed.

"Tell me something!" I interrupted. "How come you remember the date? Guys are supposed to be bad at that, right?" To this, one of the girls there laughed and clarified. "That was our idea. That's why he was asking you to come over to see him today but when you declined, we returned to our work stations with dumpling-like faces."

"Thank God! I made it." was all I said.

An hour passed by and all seven of us chatted about everything from our jobs, crushes, movies and what not. It seemed like we were friend since ever. As we walked out together to leave, Vikram offered to drive me home. On our way, I thanked him for being a generous friend and for introducing all those lovely people to me.

"Thanks for coming and being so nice to my friends!", he said while waving a good bye.

Right now, as I logged into my Facebook account, there were five pending requests. From those five lovely people I had met the same evening. What a welcome to a gang! And, this one is for all of you out there! (for whatever happened before we all met aka behind the scene)

Workaholics too have a Love Story

This post is a part of the Gillette Satin Care contest in association with BlogAdda.com

I was busy juggling with some priority tasks at my work station when I was interrupted by a deep voice. It was him. The tall, the not-so-dark and handsome Vivan.

"Folding up the blind at your desk can help you see something amazing" he said while folding them up. I hardly had any time to look up and talk but my heart skipped a beat whenever he was around. Vivan wasn't someone I could ignore and as I turned to my left, what I saw was breathtaking!

The sky was overcast with swirling black clouds that almost touched my window on the 11th floor of our building. "Wow! That's so beautiful. There is going to be a heavy rain today and I have so much of work to finish before I can leave" I said while realizing that they were not joy alone. The horrible nagging with auto wallahs was something I hated to do after a tiring day at work. Lost in my thoughts, I did not realize when Vivan had left.

"Poor guy! I did not even talk to him. Mean me! I should have been good to him!" I thought to myself while getting back to work. Another 45 minutes and I was finally done.

As I stood up and turned around, I could not believe what met my eyes. Vivan. Waiting for me. Aaah! What a moment it was!

"Hey Miss Workaholic! I can sense that you are now done with your work for today, so may I walk out with you?"

"Oh yes!" I replied promptly smiling at his superb way of asking me out.

As we stepped out on the road, the drizzling raindrops made everything beautiful. The sky, although dark seemed happier than usual and his company, of course was little more delightful today. We crossed the auto rickshaw stand but neither of us bothered to take one. We kept walking through the street, splashing through the water logs of the evening rain. We were now walking closer. A little closer than usual. A little happier than usual. And then we walked into the Cafe Coffee Day at the end of the street. As we sat across the table, he leaned forward and held my hand in his. Loosened by his gentle touch, my cellphone slipped off my hand and fell onto the table. But who cares?!

He took my hand closer to himself and touched over my nails playfully as he kept looking at them.

And I wanted to pull them off! No Vivan! No...Please don't! Don't look at my hands, was all that I wanted to scream. How I wish I had opted for my hair removal.

Vivan kept looking at them and suddenly kissed my hand as he moved his chair closer to mine and said those most beautiful words in this world. For the heart of a true lover he had, he probably never noticed those imperfect things. For the Man he was, he found his Love the most beautiful and I couldn't ask for more!

All that I could utter in that moment was, "I so wanted this to happen! I am glad it did".

As we walked back , he held me closer. Wrapped in his arms across my shoulders, I felt how beautiful and strengthening Love was!

I am the Santa

Never before had this happened. Never had I felt someone else's plight so deep...so real that I was myself hurt.

The chill in Delhi's air is on rise and it's the time when those steaming dumplings won't let u go away unless you have relished few of them. After a tiring day at work, I was casually strolling down the street with the utmost urge of eating away a plate of dumplings. Lost in my own thoughts, I had hardly ever noticed people who passed by.

I was about to reach my favourite dumpling stall when my thoughts were interrupted by a sudden and scary touch on my hand. Realizing it was rough, my worst fear came alive. As I turned frantically, I saw a little girl standing right beside me.

I would have been pleased to see a little girl. But I was not!

Probably I would have liked her if she wore a cute dress...but she wasn't.

Maybe I would have liked her if she wore a pretty flowery hairband... but she wasn't.

Chances are that I would have loved to say a hello to her, if she carried her doll along..but she had none to hold.

She was dressed in rags. She hardly had anything on her body that could keep her warm. Her hair was unkempt and appeared almost like strands of jute. Her face had patches of mud and she stood barefoot.

"What is it? Get lost!" are my words for any beggar I have ever come across and she got her share of it as well. And there was a moment of mismatch between my mind and my heart. She looked at me with her eyes wide open and showed no fear to my words.

I knew the way she would start begging. They have this habit of calling you in names of Bollywood stars and as soon as you decline to offer alms, they call u a witch or something even worse. I truly hated that part of interaction with beggars and therefore, I started to walk away so that I won't have to hear that everyday drama.

"Didi..! kuch pehenne ko de do." I turned back and looked at her again. Her eyes gleamed with hope. I walked back to where she stood and asked her where her parents were. They lived in a slum nearby.

"Hum bheek nahi maang rahe didi. Koi purane kapde ho toh de do. Ma aur baba majdoori karte hain." I was taken aback. I smiled at her and she smiled back. For that moment, I could not see her unkempt hair. Her smile outshined the dirt that stuck to her face like a native. Now, I could not see her that cold on a winter evening. I was suddenly growing fond of her. She appeared cuter than my neighbor's kid who is always decked up in nice clothes and has a fair, bright and chubby face.

I unwrapped the muffler that hung around my neck aimlessly and wrapped her in it. Funnily, it almost worked like a shawl for her. The little soul beamed with happiness and I felt content... this time from within. It was different from the way I felt after eating away a plate of dumplings. It was better. It was deeper. And most importantly, its making me smile even two days later.

We don't fail to call India a frustrated country. We take pride in discussing our short falls. Talk of one problem and others will help you make a list of them.

Ever tried doing something that would change things even at a very small scale? Talk of it in public sometime and find out how many join you in making things better.

I just did...are u in?

Why not become a Real Santa and help those in need of our compassion this Christmas? :)