Thank God! We aren't the same..

There is that feeling which you can't exactly put in words. The feeling of being yourself. Being so content, so happy and high on self esteem that you would not want to change.

Ever wondered the limit of perfection or acceptability? Well, that's one point we often miss out. I, too, had been missing out on it until recently.

Its a person's aura, they say. But I would want to name it differently. I see it as a personal wall set up around a person which has loud and clear messages signed on it. Whether somebody would approach you or not when you are in their vicinity is majorly governed by our personal walls.

Etching out this wall is no big deal. Its almost automatic. But putting off the wall and becoming more approachable is one daunting task. I said daunting not because you have to battle against someone else. The most difficult battle ever is the one against ourselves. Whether it is about hitting the snooze button on alarm or it is about visiting the once-a-dear-friend.

In most of the cases, including myself, the reason behind being unapproachable is some bad experience in the past or even a mindset that we refuse to overcome. Probably, because we fail to understand that each individual is unique. Just because a guy that age once irritated me, I don't have enough reasons to ward off all guys that age or all who bear resemblance with him. Because once an aunt in the neighborhood spied on me and my boyfriend, do I stand my decision of hating all aunties in my neighborhood? Of course No!

The point here is that if I enjoy and am proud of my individual existence and its uniqueness, so are others. Who are we to expect them to merge into our likes? Had it been a mono-personality world, just think how boring things would be! For people had same tastes and likes, nobody would have even bothered to manufacture so many flavors of ice cream... Just one color and just one thought!!

This world, in my opinion, is good being one... but nothing else. Lets respect our differences and enjoy variety, for, monotonous life is no life! :)

When it hurts, its real!

She was visibly different from Lisa I met two months back.

In fact, she bore no resemblance to the Lisa I had known for almost 10 years. We grew up together through our teens and had extreme tolerance for each other's stupidities. We shared everything at length, and probably, this kept us together through distances.

It was three years back on Valentines Day that Rajat proposed her and she said Yes. This had to happen and all three of us knew it.They both were by all means and measures, made for each other. Lisa would throw tantrums at petty matters and Rajat could handle all of it without losing the smile on his face. He was sure about his parents' confidence in his decisions and therefore, was waiting for the right time to introduce his perfect girl to his parents. Lisa came from a more liberal background and therefore, things were easier on her side.

It was 6 pm on a Friday when Rajat called up and said that he was leaving for his home town. Lisa did not inquire much realizing that he was in a hurry. At around 7:30 pm, she received a text that read "Love! my parents need me. They are in a tough time. I know you are a strong girl and can take care of yourself. I don't know when will I be coming back. For the sake of our love, be happy all these days that I am not with you..." On reading this, she sensed something unusual but ignored it thinking it was just her sense of insecurity without Rajat.

They exchanged messages and talked briefly over phone. Every time they talked, Rajat was unable to tell her the date of his return journey. Passing days changed to months and Lisa lived with the hope of Rajat's return. On every first of the month, she prayed that the month be proven lucky and Rajat returns. During all these days, he told her about how his dad's business had run into a legal hassle and he had no other option than being there.

She cried over the weekends like crazy. She fought her own insecurities and tried hard to socialize but all in vain. No matter what she did or whom she met, there was only one thing that consumed all her energy.."What if Rajat doesn't come back?", and this was the end of her world, her happiness.

When I am with her today, I can feel the sadness in her eyes. She has changed, both ways. She appeared more responsible and threw no tantrums. She is not even complaining about the high temperature. I could see Lisa checking on the time on her cellphone almost every 15 minutes. On realizing that she has been noticed, she said, "Rajat calls at 1 pm everyday" and the typical Lisa smile flashed across her face and I loved it! I hugged her tight and she broke down. Probably, she had held back her tears too hard and today, they were just flowing. I sat close to her silently. I know, its good to let the feelings flow. Amid all this, her phone rang and she hurriedly picked it. It was Rajat.

She strained hard to make out what he was saying but alas! she could not. Rajat was at some very noisy place and this made her tensed. All she could make out was that he was asking her to be happy and the call was disconnected. Her worried eyes told a tale that I would never want to accept, and neither Lisa.

A text message beeped on Lisa's phone. It read "i am on the railway station, Love! Have managed to get a ticket. We are meeting tomorrow! Want my Lisa smile :)"

She sat numb. Tears came down her eyes hurriedly and we hugged again. "May is lucky", we screamed together and quickly moved out of the place we were sitting at.

Someone has truly said, "Love heals!"

What's in a Goodbye..?

I have been thinking over it for quite a while..what is there in a Goodbye that leaves us teary eyed!

All of us say so many goodbyes in a given span of time But all of them are just not the same. There is a kind of Goodbye that tears you from within. It shakes you, breaks you and just doesn't let you be. Probably, this is a rare type. It happens when a deeply loved one is parting from you, and that too possible either for the first time or the ultimate last time. There is a glut in the throat that doesn't let you speak. It leaves you uneasy for quite sometime and when you think of it, it seems to be real time. Amazing it is, to see how strangely we respond to the same event at different points of time.

There is a teary yet fun goodbye too! I remember the goodbye I said to the school friends for the first time and then a Goodbye at the end of College. These were fun because we all had plans to look forward to. We knew we would keep in touch and had those slam books filled. It appeared to be almost a treasure then. Infact it is! Ever flipped through the pages of those yesteryear's slam books recently? Do that this weekend..and you will know what exactly creating a treasure for life means!

I did that a fortnight ago and am still smiling :) No matter how good we look at one point of time, we outgrow ourselves and years later, those pictures throw us into fits of laughter. The lovely messages, those confessions about our crushes and "what I like about you" are the super entertaining parts of slams. Rethinking about your crush and luckily, if one still has him/ her in life is such an amazing feeling. It sends you back to those days and you definitely return younger!

Saying a goodbye, irrespective of its type is never easy. When we part, we leave behind a space in other's lives which remains a void, if not forever, for sometime surely.

Probably, that is the reason why hugs are so important before we part. Its one last feeling of closeness till we meet again. Its an assurance that both of us would be fine without each other and therefore...a Good Bye!